Alex woke me up this morning again with his call. I was still sleepy but I kept him on the phone longer and managed to convince him to send me money, at least I will have enough to pay for the translation and for the DHL. This morning I ate an orange and now I am still drinking the coffee I made a few hours ago. Soon when I finish working I will make a cup of apple and pear juice and this will be my lunch. Later I might go and visit a friend but I wanna go by foot so that I will make exercise. I think is very cold outside because the windows from the balcony are frozen.  Most of the spots on my body are gone, only the one on my hand has gotten bigger. I tried to make my eyebrows and  my skin swell up. Luckily I didn't  picked many so I hope it will go away soon.

Blank

    I feel so blank today as if i have nothing to think about. I think my memory is so full that is refusing to work any longer. I want to go to bed and start reading my buck my J.D.  Sallinger. I just love this guy. when i first saw the title  i thought is one of the Romanian writers and i'm not into reading them so much, i am not saying that they are not good, bust just that they are not my kind. "Catcher in the rye" is really a cool book, i recommend it. I couldn't believe my eyes when i saw that it was written more than 50 years ago because it had nowadays stories. 

     Last night i couldn't sleep. I was feeling so hot. At first i  removed my blouse because i was lazy to change and i slept with it, with singlet under and also bra. Then i removed my bra without taking my singlet off. I was still dieing of heat and i was turning on all sides. Then i realized i wasn't comfortable with my pillow and  i noticed it wasn't my pillow, so i changed it. And i still couldn't sleep. I thought i am feeling hot because of my fleece pijammas that usually make me feel so warm, but it wasn't so. I wore another pair of trousers, made of cotton this time. Then i remembered David. How i wish i could call him and we meet. But i know he will not pick my calls. How i wish i know why. Why he is behaving so weird, i really don't know. It made me put myself so many questions. I imagine calling him and he picks and i go see him. But that would feel so weird after what he did so us to see again . I think we would both dodge to look at each other and we wouldn't know what to say. How i wish i could invite him out and we go have  a coffee together. But i think i am not good enough to make him want something like that. 

  Then i remembered Croco our hamster that dies in the morning of the new year. I was so sad and i couldnt believe that it happened. I don't know what happened to him. We found him with blood on his mouth.I think he had an internal bleeding. I thought he died of cold but it wasn't like that. I blamed myself for not taking good care for him i wonder if i would have given him more attention none of this would have happened, or what is written to happen will eventually happen no matter what we do. Or somebody just invented this story so that we will stop thinking over and over again what if?

   Alex called me in the morning and i succeded to tell him that i will go to embassy next week, that i have received the documents. He asked me why i am talking like that if i was sleeping and when i said yes he said he will allow me sleep and he will call me later. Of course i 10 pm now and he hasnt called. I think he knows i will be asking him for money so he is avoiding it. 

   I felt scratches on my back and my left hand was paining me the most. My brother called me but i didn't want to pick. I was so upset of getting allergy again. This time was worst then any other times, if you don't count the one when only my neck was swelling and i was suffocating. 

   I slept until 1 again. I woke up when Adriana ring the bell. I went to change. As usually i am extremely hungry in the morning and i usually go straight to eating before any other thing. I suppossed to take my eutirox pill and then wait 30 minutes before eating. But the eutirox is finished and even if i have it in the morning i am too hungry to wait so long. after eating a bowl of oatmeal with Soya milk. i decided to try soya milk because i noticed i don't feel good when i drink cow milk. Then i had a coffee and i decided to make some Google research on allergies. I found an articlel where it talked about a diet that sounded like this: 4-5 you drink only fresh fruits juices, after you eat only fruits and vegetables for about 4 weeks. After the 1st week you can start introducing another group of aliments and watch what happens. So i bought 3 kilos of apples,  2 kilos of oranges and 4 pears. So  this afternoon i ate only 2 oranges and 2 cups of fresh juice. I hope i can handle it  for 4-5 days, at least until Tuesday when i will go to Spring Time with Elena I am going to continue reading my book because i don't see amything productive to do. I will also take with me in the bed a nurse's book so that i can prepare for the exam. good night!

Dirty job

 I hope he did not noticed that I was actually yawning, making it seem that I was screaming of pleasure, but i couldn't  stop it. I could cum if i wasn't so dry from the o.b.Feels good but i' tired of this already.Is late and I should be sleeping by now but i am not sleepy. Analgeil asked me where he should cum and i said in mouth. He started masturbating and sticking a big dildo into his ass. He asked me if i was referring to his mouth and i had a hunch it was so, that's why i told him yes. He continued pushing the toy in and out his ass. He had a big dick.  One guy is writing me in the other side. He told me happy new year. I wish him the same. The other ones leaves to i greet the stranger. I was wondering if there are no other girls online and he doesn't have who to speak with, I hear the buzzing sound. Maybe he gave me a dollar to show him some flashing, let me check what he wants. No its a private, i would have missed it if i didn't look in time. Thank God ! He starts chatting, it looks like he is going to stay long he is so romantic. I don't want to look at the amount so that he will not go. He leaves without a word. Another one comes. He speaks a language i don't know, What does he want? Let me check fast Google translate, what language is that? Netherlands. No need he started speaking English. He wants ass. Why i didn't look better from the first place, i could have figured out very easy from the root of the words what he wanted. I ask him what turns him on. He says he likes dominant woman . What do i tell him to do now? This guy dont know anything about fetish. Now  he asks me to turn him on and if i wanna play. So how do i supposed to be dominant now ? I turn and i hit the table. My mouse falls down, I touch it with my leg > Let me not just close my own session please. He is really enjoying it i can see it on him face. What is a good looking guy doing here tonight? He couldn't get a real date? He leaves. This wine is too much for me i have to go and sleep. Good night and Happy New Year!

Scary thoughts

  Each night I go to sleep I wonder if my neck is just dry or is it swelling again from the allergy? Why is it that from my whole body its the inside of my neck that must swallow? Should i take the Aerius pill I have on my desk? Nahh! My back hurts and I am so sleepy , Icannot get up from my bed now. How does it feel when you stop breathing in your sleep, will I still have time to grab my phone and call an ambulance, or I will not feel anything at all? Is my phone close enough? Let me just take that pill just in case. Here it is. With a zip of Coca cola .Perfect combination. Nah, my neck wasn't dry its really swelling

Revange

   I know now why you revenged on me. You are so cruel. you revenged for the times when you begged for my attention and i rejected you. You maybe then swore to make me feel the same pain you felt when i was cruel with you. you revenged in the name of all woman that did the same malicious thing with you. Was i the only one that fell for you? Or i am just one of the numerous victims you chosen to revenge? you were mad when i told you you are sweet! You wanted to seem so ruthless but it couldn't work because inside of you, you are a poor soul suffering from the indifference of others. You wanted to prove that you can do the same cruel thing that girls did it to you for so many times, because you couldnt offer them a dinner or a coffee at a local bar. They should love you for who you are, not for the money you don't have.